To Swing or Not to Swing? 

– What you need to know about the Swingers Lifestyle before you jump right in. –

 

Joining adult swinger parties is a significant decision that involves careful consideration. Below I highlight the pro’s and con’s of the lifestyle as well as a what to expect and an insight into a personal experience of what I saw and felt when I attended my first Swingers Club event with my partner.

What Are Adult Swinger Parties?

Adult swinger parties are social events where couples (and sometimes singles) engage in consensual sexual activities with other attendees. These gatherings can vary in size, from small, intimate meetups to large, organized events. The focus is often on open-minded exploration of sexual fantasies, non-monogamy, and consensual swapping of partners.

Our Insights:

Let me just say, we nearly chickened out of the situation. We sat in our vehicle, outside the building and asked ourselves if we can do this. It felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, with a fear of heights but really wanting to jump and also wanting to run back to safety. The emotions were high, nervousness and excitement all in one.

With myself and my partner being in the Sex industry, whether it be toys, events or just general chit chat with our clients and friends, we kind of do need to know a lot about Fetishes, Kinks and lifestyles. When we decided to go and see what this whole Swingers lifestyle was about, we spoke about it for months before we took the leap to finally do it. Not to necessarily do the deeds of the Swingers, but to experience the environment, see what it was about and find out the perspectives of other swingers, like how have their lives and relationships changed since entering this lifestyle. We wanted to network as well, so when we were sitting outside the venue of the club it hit us as to what we were actually doing and that in actual fact, even after doing months of research, we really didn’t know what we were heading in to.

We made the decision to just do it. Let’s just see what happens, and if we are not happy with the environment or how we felt, we can just leave. I must say, my stomach was in knots as I held on to my partner for dear life, but knowing he would be there with me, experiencing this with me and supporting my feelings and emotions helped the situation a lot.

When entering a club like this, there are a lot of rules that you need to abide by or you stand a chance of being kicked out and banned.

Some of the rules are as follows:

NO is a word that every single person in that building needs to abide by, if a person or a couple says NO, then you will listen, or you will face the consequences.

You do not have to do anything you are not comfortable with, no one is forcing you to do anything you don’t want to, if they try, they are outta there!

No pictures. This place is a safe zone. You can use your phone, but not lifting it up straight, keep it facing down or it might be seen as taking pictures. Any calls you need to take; you take it outside or you take it in a private room where no one else can hear it.

No drugs. They do not tolerate drugs on the premises, if you don’t abide by this, you guessed it, kicked out and banned.

Do not enter a room with a person or a couple without their permission.

Have fun and explore.

Privacy is a big thing. Your information is private and confidential, if you want to tell people who you are, then you can, but they will never give your information out to anyone.

 

These rules were comforting for us, it allowed us to feel comfortable with the fact of we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to and we are protected.

The next step was getting through that entrance door into the venue……but the moment you open the door, you feel a little relief, knowing you are finally there and you got this! The first thing we did was to get ourselves a drink in order to settle the nerves and the we found a seat and observed the environment.

 

In this time, I learned a lot of things, such as:

It is warm inside the venue, a solid 27 °C, but there is a reason for that…..if you’re naked in this venue, you do not want to be cold, you want to be comfortable.

The people attending this event are not there to judge you, you feel comfortable in the surroundings, the venue is made to make you feel comfortable.

YOU WILL SEE EVERYTHING on the human body.

No matter if you are big or small, curvy or thin, no one cares. You are there to have fun.

I had a euphoric moment when I realized, I’m in the presence of other adults who are walking around naked and they couldn’t give a flying fuck if you saw their junk, they were happy and comfortable. It was like being in a public open space and you could do WHATEVER you wanted, there was no taboo thing in there, if you wanted to make out with your partner, then do it! You wanted to run your hands all over your partner’s body, then do it! There was no hiding in this space and it made me feel lighter and free.

You will meet people there that you would never normally meet in the real world and these people are just like us, they just unfortunately need to hide who they really are in public because their way of life is not acceptable in society.

 

During all of this, my partner and I discussed life and what was going on around us and it was a real bonding moment for us by doing this together and being able to feel comfortable because we were there for each other and trusted each other.

At my events that I host and with conversations I have with people in general, you will always hear me say: “Communication is Key, if you do not communicate then you do not do it.”

Myself and my partner discussed our rules, what we wanted to experience from this and our boundaries, we both knew what we were heading in to, but you still can never be properly prepared. We openly communicated with each other during this process as well and it made us feel better about the situation.

WE DID NOT END UP SWINGING, but we had the time of our lives with each other in this space, entering a new level in our relationship and realizing how strong we were as a couple.

The Rules and Boundaries  that myself and my partner made:

No kissing – This is quite a common rule for beginner swingers as they feel that is a very passionate and private thing to have with your partner, but more experienced swingers tend to let that rule go.

No biting, licking or sucking of the neck and ear area – That is our thing and we know each others limits and our turn on spots are only ours.

Protection – No cumming in me or on me, and he had no cumming in her or on her.

No Choking  – My partner knows my limits and does not trust anyone to know my signs and limitations, so that was a NO GO area.

No Hard Spanking – This ass is his and he wont appreciate another mans hand mark on my body.

Permission will be granted only if the partner agrees – If a man wanted to approach, he would have to go through my partner and vice versa.

We had subtle signs to each other for if we were fine with the situation or if we were uncomfortable so that one of us knew if the other one needed out of a situation. 

These were just our basic rules and during the time at the club, we promised to make sure that we would communicate with each other during the evening if we wanted to add any more rules or if there were some rules that we made that we could bend that both of us would agree on. I will not go in to detail as to how our evening turned out, but like I said previously, we had an amazing evening together and that’s all that mattered.

Below you will see the list of Pros and Cons of the Swinging Lifestyle.

 

Pros of Joining Adult Swinger Parties

Exploration of Fantasies:

Swinger parties provide a safe space to explore sexual fantasies and desires that may not be possible in a monogamous relationship. They allow individuals to express their sexuality in a non-judgmental environment.

Enhanced Relationship Dynamics:

For couples, swinging can enhance communication and trust. The open nature of the experience requires clear boundaries and honest discussions, which can strengthen the relationship.

Socializing and Community:

Swinger parties offer an opportunity to meet like-minded individuals and become part of a community that shares similar values and interests. It can lead to lasting friendships and connections.

Variety and Excitement:

Swinging introduces variety into one’s sex life, which can be exciting and invigorating. It can reignite passion in long-term relationships by adding a new dynamic.

Safe Environment:

Reputable swinger parties often emphasize safety, with strict rules around consent, safe sex practices, and respect for boundaries. Many events are well-organized and cater to those who prioritize safety and discretion.

 

Cons of Joining Adult Swinger Parties

Emotional Challenges:

Jealousy, insecurity, or emotional discomfort can arise, especially if one partner is more enthusiastic about swinging than the other. It may lead to tension in the relationship if not properly managed.

Social Stigma:

Swinging still carries a social stigma, and participants may face judgment or misunderstanding from friends, family, or colleagues. The need for discretion can be challenging.

Risk of Relationship Strain:

If both partners are not fully committed to the idea or have differing expectations, swinging can strain or even damage the relationship. Miscommunication or unmet expectations can lead to conflict.

Health Risks:

Although reputable parties emphasize safe sex practices, there is still a risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Regular testing and the use of protection are essential but don’t eliminate the risk entirely.

Potential for Negative Experiences:

Not all swinger parties are well-organized or respectful. Participants may encounter pushy or disrespectful individuals, or feel uncomfortable in certain environments. It’s important to research and choose events carefully.

Privacy Concerns:

Privacy is a significant concern, as participants may worry about being recognized or having their activities exposed. Discretion is key, but there’s always a risk of privacy breaches.

 

Tips for a Positive Experience

Clear Communication:

Openly discuss your expectations, boundaries, and comfort levels with your partner before attending. Make sure you both agree on the rules and what you’re comfortable exploring.

Start Slow:

If you’re new to swinging, consider attending smaller events or “meet and greet” gatherings to ease into the experience. This allows you to become familiar with the community and understand the dynamics.

Research the Event:

Choose reputable parties with positive reviews, clear rules, and a focus on consent. Avoid events that seem disorganized or lack transparency.

Prioritize Safety:

Always practice safe sex, and don’t hesitate to walk away from situations or individuals that make you uncomfortable. Trust your instincts.

Respect Boundaries:

Respect your partner’s boundaries and those of others. Never pressure anyone into activities they’re not comfortable with, and be prepared to accept “no” as an answer without question.

At the end:

Joining adult swinger parties can be a thrilling and fulfilling experience for those who are curious and open-minded about exploring their sexuality. However, it also comes with potential challenges and risks. Success in this lifestyle requires clear communication, mutual respect, and a strong foundation of trust between partners.

Side Note:

I used a picture of upside down pineapples for a reason…..

The upside-down pineapple is a discreet symbol used in the swinger lifestyle to indicate interest in swinging. It’s a non-verbal way to signal openness to the lifestyle, often displayed on clothing, jewelry, or in social settings like resorts or cruises. Traditionally, a pineapple represents hospitality, but when upside-down, it subtly suggests an invitation to explore alternative lifestyles. While widely recognized within the community, its use can sometimes be unintentional or misunderstood by those outside the lifestyle.

Until next time

Your ever devoted Forsaken Whisperer – Nakita.H